©2018 by Colin Fowlie Music

Party Music

Another Drug

There are moments locked in time when we can't feel the weight until it's gone

That is when we realize that it's been on our shoulders for so long

I used to linger in between the lines

Missing all the not-so-subtle signs

 

But the pain it isn't working anymore

It used to light the way but I'm not seeing like before

I found another drug, I choke it down

Just to lift my head up off the ground

 

If I ever exercise the option to retreat into the dark

I can't guarantee I won't be long, but I won't know when I embark

I'll leave the light behind 'til I return

In the meantime let the candle burn

 

Because the pain it isn't working anymore

It used to light the way but I'm not seeing like before

I found another drug, I choke it down

Just to lift my head up off the ground

 

The pain it isn't working anymore

It used to light the way but I'm not seeing like before

I found another drug, I choke it down

Just to keep my head up off the ground

Modern Love Story

From Monday to Friday he sits in his grave

And stares at the screen

That's how you behave

So that the mouths can be fed and the bills can be paid

While the lights they shine down on the mess that was made

 

For 9 hours a day she reports to her cell

And answers a phone line connecting to hell

For the good of her family she works like a drone

While shuffling aside every dream of her own

 

When the weekend comes there is no respite at all

The burden of and chores and trips to the mall

In some ways it's worse than the 9 to the 5

How can life be so full if you're barely alive

 

And that's how it goes but for one week a year

The pennies are saved they get out of here

When they return they're refreshed for a while

But eventually the grind seems even more vile

 

At night they lay down upon separate beds

With visions of freedom abound in their heads

But the mouths are all fed and the bills are all paid

And they turn out the lights on the mess that was made

Amusement Park

The things in this life that are certain

Are taxes and death and stains on your shirt

The mirror won't give you the answers

So don't stand and stare

Get out of bed where your dreams sink and drown

Get out of your head take a good look around

 

Life is like an amusement park

Things get strange when it gets dark

The games are all rigged so you might as well go for a ride

 

You try and you try and you try

You win some, you lose some, you fail...

And you walk empty streets that are not without danger

Since back home you felt like a stranger

You'll never be heard if you don't make a sound

Or hide over where you can't bear to be found

 

Life is like an amusement park

Things get strange when it gets dark

The games are all rigged so you might as well go for a ride

 

Now you walk through the valley

Between pleasure and pain

You smile when the wind blows

And all you can do is just laugh at the rain

You wander around the deserted dark ground

Where mysteries go to come slowly unwound

 

Life is like an amusement park

Things get strange when it gets dark

The games are all rigged so you might as well go for a ride

Photographs

I pried a picture from the cold dead hand of another man in a foreign land

Before I was 17

I signed the papers in my brother’s name – when I showed my hand I was on the plane

I bluffed my way into the game

When we won I brought the picture back of two younger girls with hair so perfect black

And I put it in a drawer

Facing down between a copper star and an old cigar I haven’t smoked so far

I just hold it to remember

 

‘Cause when I sit and look at photographs it feels like reading epitaphs

For the moments that have come to pass but never go away

If I hadn’t turned in time, his final stand could’ve well been mine

But it felt like an imperfect crime and it haunts me to this day

 

For 40 years I worked along the shore we didn’t have it all but never needed more

Just you and me and two girls of our own

Life is simple in this fishing town the girls are grown and now they’re not around

But we talk almost every day

 

And when I sit and look at photographs it feels like reading epitaphs

For all the moments that were meant to last - in frames out on display

It’s not like we were wasting time, I had your love and you had all of mine

It never felt like we had passed our prime – we’d earned the touch of grey

 

No you never even held the hand of another man so here I’ll stand

And love you even more tomorrow

 

When I sit and look at photographs it feels like reading epitaphs

For the moments that were gone too fast – I let them slip away

When you were running out of time I would have given you the rest of mine

But now your name is on this marble sign where I bring flowers everyday

Compel You

"Fuck you, I know where I'm going to." She said to me

"I even wrote you a letter, that I don't care if you read

I've said it over and over, for some reason you never hear.

You've made my options seem simple then. I'll disappear."

 

I said just bring me a whisky, neat as hell

You've made this whole situation a mess as well

Over the line of reason, you tripped and fell

Every last bit of my love could not compel you

 

I told her I know that letter is full of lies

Some of my friends say they've seen you with other guys

So I don't care that you're leaving, just close the door

You can't murder my heart anymore

 

So just bring me a whisky, neat as hell

You've made this whole situation a mess as well

Over the line of reason, you tripped and fell

Every last bit of my love could not compel you

 

It seems my accusations didn't work this time

It had just been an hour since she seemed fine

I only swung as a warning since it was her birthday

Or else I'd give her all my love in the worst way

 

I need a whisky, neat as hell

She's made this whole situation a mess as well

Over the line of reason, she tripped and fell

Sanctuary

Sitting waiting watching out the window

While he argues with the voices in his head

I don't think he'd ever go outside to face the world

If he listened to a single word they said

 

Today he couldn't be his own companion

Or even walk a mile in his own shoes

Wrapped up with four familiar walls around him

Stuck inside those sanctuary blues

 

He's got both hands wrapped around a bottle

And he can't convince himself to put it down

The angel on his shoulder is now the devil in his mind

This afternoon he wants to watch them drown

 

Today he couldn't be his own companion

Or even walk a mile in his own shoes

Wrapped up with four familiar walls around him

Stuck inside those sanctuary blues

 

He'll put himself on trial in the morning

And when the judge's verdict's handed down

He'll finally take a little bit of his freedom

And make it almost all the way to town

 

Today he couldn't be his own companion

Or even walk a mile in his own shoes

Wrapped up with four familiar walls around him

Stuck inside those sanctuary blues

This Maze

You're not feeling like yourself, and you don't know what it means

When you put the good times down on the bottom shelf next to the gasoline

As though you want to burn it down every single chance you get

You can't land on a piece of solid ground if it's not discovered yet

 

You're caught in this maze in a car with no lights you're done driving

And you have to fight with yourself to take hold of the wheel

There's no guarantee as to what kind of shape you'll arive in

But when you get there

You won't know how to deal with it, until you figure out what's real

You're just learning how to feel again

 

You couldn't take it any more, every day was hard as hell

The walls of home were feeling like some godforsaken cell

And you can't forget the things that you wish you hadn't seen

It doesn't make you stronger just because it didn't kill you clean

 

You're caught in this maze in a car with no lights you're done driving

And you have to fight with yourself to take hold of the wheel

There's no guarantee as to what kind of shape you'll arive in

But when you get there

You won't know how to deal with it, until you figure out what's real

You're just learning how to feel again

 

Just breathe, they said

But the air it reeks of pesticide

Believe, they said

It's all part of the ride

But your bottle full of faith is running dry

 

You're caught in this maze in a car with no lights you're done driving

And you have to fight with yourself to take hold of the wheel

There's no guarantee as to what kind of shape you'll arive in

But when you get there

You won't know how to deal with it, until you figure out what's real

You're just learning how to feel again

Last Time

Last time I told you that it was the last time that I'd ever hold you again

But it was 3 in the morning, you were standing outside my front door

It was raining so I let you come in

 

You poured out your soul as you cried on my shoulder

Confiding in me all the lessons you'd learned

And you promised me I felt like home, your light in the dark

That's why you'd returned

 

And I'd gamble it all away to give this one more try

To see if there's any way that we don't have to say goodbye

 

Now that it's daylight, I'm all alone with your lingering warmth in my bed

And I'm reading the note that you left on the table

"I'm weak, and I'm sorry" That's all that you said

 

And I'd gamble it all away to give this one more try

To see if there's any way that we don't have to say goodbye

 

Now two months have passed since that night you came to my door

I'm still waiting to see you again

 

And I'd gamble it all away to give this one more try

To see if there's any way that we don't have to say goodbye

For the last time

Drifting Out

Well I'm lying here in the dark again

Drinking by the light of my phone

Reaching out to everyone I thought I knew

Prepared to spend another night alone

 

Last call doesn't mean a god damn thing

When the bar's beside my bed

I want to call and ask you what the hell went wrong

Because I Can't remember why you left or why I bled

 

They say our love will be the death of me

That I am drifting out to sea

You say our love is just a memory

But I can not agree

 

Well I know my choice of medicine

Will just postpone the pain

When the sun comes up I'll finally close my eyes

Until the afternoon when I start it all again

 

Because I've found

It's easy not to feel today

What I can defer until tomorrow

 

They say our love will be the death of me

That I am drifting out to sea

You say our love is just a memory

But I can not agree

Harmony

It had been a long year since my love left

So I took a ride down where the love is sold

Found a young lady standing out under the bridge

Looking every bit of 25 years old

I rolled down the window and I asked her name

"Harmony" she said as she climbed inside

She must've known that it was my first time

She told me "Just relax, I'm qualified"

 

Money can't fill the emptiness

And money can't buy you love

But it can fund a hell of a distraction

"If you've got a little to dispose of"

 

So I got us a room at a motor inn

It was small but clean which is all you need

She laid out her things on the bedside table

Her phone, some keys, and a bag of weed

As she closed her purse I caught a glimpse inside

Told myself there’s no way that I had seen

That card with a picture of her smiling wide

IT was her school ID she was about sixteen

 

Money can't fill the emptiness

And money can't buy you love

But it can fund a hell of a distraction

"If you've got a little to dispose of"

Before I spoke she tried to unzip her dress

Her fingers began to tremble

When the door caved open and a man crashed in

That Harmony seemed to resemble

She screamed “daddy” as he came at me

And threw me on the faux-fur rug

That night of distraction left a hole in my heart

The size of a 12-gauge slug

 

Money didn’t fill the emptiness

And it never did buy me love

"But it left my father with blood on his hands"

And a secret to dispose of

Running Over

My time was running over and this world didn't want me anymore

At least I didn't fade, the lights were out before my body hit the floor

I believed the story that my simple life would flash before my eyes

But there is nothing here but cold and dark and silence much to my surprise


And I leave behind nothing that will matter

And you will not find a trace of my disaster